So dark
by Mo-Lou
Summary: If Only he said yes, is she didn't leave.My version on how the Ilse, Moritz talk went. Some of it is the same, there are memories of when they were younger. But this is how  thought it would go review ONESHOT


As Ilse was running from Gustav Baum, a memory popped in her head. It was of the four running back to Ilse's house.

"Let's play pirates" said Melchior

"Only if I can be the girl in distress and Moritz saves me" Wendla said

"Um…I-I think Melchi ought to save you" Moritz said he was growing closer to Ilse then Wendla

"Well, I want you to be my savior Moritz" Ilse said taking his hand. Moritz looked at her and she smiled

"Well, Moritz and can be the good guy and I'll be the bad" Melchior said chasing Wendla. She and Melchior both tripped and fell. He landed on her, the two looked at each other and then he quickly got off her.

Ilse took a break from running and stated to pick some flowers and another memory came back. It was when she and Moritz were slightly older

"Here Ilse" Moritz said smiling a bit. He had picked some flowers

"For me?" she asked

"Yes" he said shy

"They're beautiful" she smelled them

"Well, they reminded me of you" she looked up at him and he smiled and she smiled "Ilse, is everything…everything alright with you?" he sat down beside her

"Don't be so conciered Moritz" Ilse said with a laugh

Ilse sat in the field and looked at her bruises and thought about what her father used to do to her. She wished she had told Moritz. But something had changed in him. He seemed to become scattered brained, and she knew something was up. She felt bad for leaving, she left her best friend behind. Ilse stood up and started walking a bit more. Then she saw someone in the distance. It was a boy and his hair was rather messy. As she came closer she saw it was her old friend

"Moritz Stiefel?" she asked she saw him drop something in the grass

"Ilse? You frightened me" he looked on the ground

"Did you lose something?" she asked as she saw panic come over his face

"Why did you frighten me?" He touched the gun with his foot but he couldn't pick it up now "Damn it"

"What are you looking for?"

"If only I knew" and Ilse laughed

"Then what's the use of looking?"

"So, where have you been keeping yourself?" he asked trying to distract her. Ilse looked out into the distance

"Priapia" Moritz picked up the gun and put it in his pocket. Ilse looked back at him "The artist colony?"

"Yes" Moritz said she saw there was also fear in his eyes

"God, do you remember when we used to run back to my house and play pirates? Wendla Bergman, Melchior Gabor, you and I. I thought about it today when I was running away.

"You always seem to be running away"

"Moritz…I" she started

"Actually I better go" he said

"Walk as far as my house with me" she said knowing that there was something up with him. She knew him and he was trying to hide something from her. She always knew he was lying when his voice cracked

"And…" he asked

"We'll dig up those old tomahawks and play together, Moritz. Just like we used to" she suggested

"We did have some remarkable times"

"What happened to us Moritz? When did we drift apart? We used to be so close, it was the four of us. Then you and I, our walks in the field, our talks. You remember, we would just talk about everything and nothing all at once"

"You left me" he said a bit angrier then he had intended

"I had to Moritz, it wasn't right at home" she walked closer to him and he backed away "It wasn't safe for me"

"We could have talked, I cared for you Ilse. I loved you. I would have been there for you"

"Moritz, it's embarrassing. I am ashamed of what had happened, but not to what I have become. But you Moritz, you've also changed. Let's walk" she tried to encourage him, it was too late for her, but not him

"I wish I could" he said

"Then why don't you?"

"80 lines of Virgil, 16 equations, a paper on the Hapsburgs"

"Why are you lying to me? Moritz what has gotten into you? Where was the boy who I used to know?"

"I keep asking myself that question" Ilse took his hand like she did when they were kids. He smiled a bit

"There's that smile I used to love" she said Moritz looked at her arm and saw the bruise

"Ilse…" he started she saw what he was looking at

"Moritz, it's nothing. Please, you don't need to worry yourself. I'm fine" he let go of her hand

"Goodnight Ilse" he said

"Goodnight?" she asked confused

"Virgil, the equations…remember"

"Just for an hour"

"I wish I could" she knew something was wrong. She wanted to stay, why would she leave? She wanted to protect him, she needed to protect him and herself. They could live together, be safe and happy for once.

"I can't" he said

"Well, walk me at least" this was hurting Moritz, she was his way to hope. She was offering all these things, but he couldn't do it, he wanted to but he couldn't. He looked at her. She was confused and scared, lost and broken. Her face was how he felt inside and there was nothing that could change that.

"Honestly I wish I could" Ilse could see the tears in Moriz's eyes and she let some fall on her cheek. Moritz didn't mean to make her cry. He wanted to rush up to her and hold her. Tell his best friend that there was no need to be scared. He wanted to protect her too. So why was his mouth saying no?

"You know…by the time you finally wake up, I'll be lying on some trash heap" and she stormed off leaving her past behind her

"For the love of God, all I had to do was say yes" Moritz said out loud he ran after her "Ilse, Ilse" but she was long gone. Moritz put his hand in his pocket and pulled out his gun, he knelt down "I'm ready now" he yelled up to the sky he looked at where Ilse left "to be an angel" he looked at he gun "so dark" he looked at where Ilse once stood "So dark" he put the gun up to his mouth and he heard laughter. It was when he and Melchior used to chase the girls. He remembered when they would roll down the hill and then got grass stains on their clothes. He remembered the time Ile pulled him out in the rain and they just lay there in silence looking at each other. But those were only memories "So dark" said he said and he pulled the trigger.


End file.
